Fart Silencers: Only in Asia is the New Only in America

Remember shaking your head as you learned of some new oddball story of success, or screwball situation that could only happen in America? Young computer entrepreneurs dropping out of college to become multi-billionaires. A cheating man who has his penis (involuntarily) removed by his wife becomes an instant celebrity and porn star. Sending humans into space to land on the moon somewhere in Nevada. Cosmetic surgery allowing a small black boy to become a strange white woman.

Whether a good thing or not, it seems to me that America has lost its ability to claim that anything super unusual could only happen in America. It’s a strange new world, a smaller and better connected one (thank you interwebs) and I’d like to propose allowing all of Asia to join the “it could only happen in (your location)” club. Because honestly, I can’t think of anything going on in the world as unusual as what gets emailed to me with an asian theme. (Let’s just go ahead and disregard the more repulsive and disgusting stuff, that’s a whole ‘nother story that I’m not mentally prepared to scrape at, at this time).

Some of the weirdest crap from Asia 2008:

Fart Silencers. I really like that you are supposed to stick these in…uranus…right before you are about to fart. I traditionally thought fart silencers were something you could leave in all day, just for the unforeseen escape here and there.

Couple Beaten to Death in Order to Stop Smoking – if only my parents and friends had cared about my health as much.

Woman Addicted to Surgery Injects Oil Into Her Face – she’s so hideous, she’s almost beautiful. In Mordor.

Hadaka Matsuri: The Naked Man Festival. I went once, wasn’t really my thing.

Two-Faced Baby Born in India (yes, India counts as Asia!) Dad says doing fine, respected as the father of a local God in his village. Yes let me repeat. He is the father of a God. Gotta up his chances at getting some at the local pub.

Horny Chinese Grandmother.  Okay, this was first reported in 2007, but I was hoping for a sequel this year.

Batman Bin Suparman.  This guy will probably actually be cool in Singapore.  Still not as cool as McLovin.

Ride that train!  I hate public transportation, but would give it a shot in Japan.